I hope the link works (and if anyone knows how to efficiently search the webarchives let me know), I don't really know where to put this but I guess here since it's old sw, and if this is posted anywhere else on here already feel free to delete it as I perhaps haven't looked everywhere.
Here is the main post, originally written by violastrings:
- Before you get to work, do something to make yourself happy. Try your make-up a new way, get a pedicure or acrylic fill (with tacky rhinestones if it'll make you happy!), take extra time on your hair, call a friend who you know will make you laugh, or set a goal with a reward ("If I make $500 tonight, I'll buy myself that Dooney and Bourke trunk, the rest goes to bills").
- Show up to work reasonably early, by stripper time at least. Walking in the door at 9:30 unprepared and expecting to make $500 easy is bone-headed. If you show up around 7 or so, you might do so well you can leave early and avoid the nasty, overcrowded midnight to close rush. No one likes not being able to even walk through a crowd, especially naked through a gropey crowd, struggling to get from front stage to backstage, from backstage to the dressing room.
- Be prepared, make sure your hair, make-up and outfit look presentable, but if they don't (say you have a horrible pussing zit you just CAN'T cover, or don't have the time or cash to touch up your roots) then relax about it. Stressing out in the dressing room for an hour makes you less money. Remember, the longer you're out on the floor, the more money you'll make. People like a nice smile and good conversation skills better than visual perfection. No one is perfect, but everyone can be nice!
- At all times you should be either out on the floor talking to a customer, on stage dancing, giving a lap dance, or taking a 5 minute maximum break/touch up in the back. No moping. No sitting at the bar with a martini and a scowl. No sitting in the back bitching about how bad it is.
- Looking classy and covered up makes more money than looking trashy, generally, but if you're having fun then wear the silver lame bootyshorts or skull micro bikini, damnit.
- Give everyone the time of day. People are there either for shits and giggles, or a genuine desire for female company. Ask "would you like some company" or "would you like me to join you?" WITH A SMILE instead of "Want a dance? No? PISS OFF!" Make sure people see you coming and make eye contact before you even speak. When you're nice no one has cause to dislike you, hence, all the reason in the world to spend money. Even people there for shits and giggles tip well onstage and buy dances from the girls that appear to like them. They usually think the nicest girl there is ALSO the hottest girl there. You have to be unreasonably hot to be a bitch and still make money, which is not most strippers.
- As soon as you walk in the door, try to get out on the floor and give your first dance AS SOON AS POSSIBLE. Find someone who is sitting by themselves, or looks unhappy, or you see is buying dances from other girls. Lay it on thick. Be as sweet as sugar. Even if they don't buy dances or pay you for your time, excuse yourself politely saying "I'd really like to talk but I have rent/car payment/electric due tomorrow and just have to make lots! I'll come back and say hello, later, ok?" Do this for 2-3 people and you'll be in the mode to make money all night. Don't drink anything alcoholic until you're in the groove, and don't drink more than 1 cocktail or beer an hour. Stop drinking at midnight.
- Try as hard as possible to remember names. That gets them everytime. If you forget a regular's name, ask how old they are, say "No way, you look way more mature to be that young!" or for an old guy say "Nuh uh, you look ten years younger than that!" and ask to see their license to prove it. VOILA! You know their name again.
- Tip EVERYONE. Even if it's just a $5 to the waitress who served you and a client all night, or a few bucks to the doorgirl, make yourself popular with the staff and they'll send the big money clients to you. Schmooze with the manager. Joke with the DJ, and tip him well. Hug and greet everyone, especially the bouncers, they'll kick ass for their favorite girls. Look happy to be there, you should be! You are only going to be young and cute enough to be there for so long.
- Use high school politics and be the most popular girl. Don't talk shit even if everyone ELSE is talking shit. Stay out of people's business, sure Crusty the New Girl smokes crack and is a hooker, but she'll get herself fired without you needing to lower yourself. Be nice to everyone, but don't expect to be able to borrow stage outfits unless you want to lend YOURS out, etc. This business is very "I'll only do for you what you do for me".
- You never need to put up with roaming hands during dances. But grabbing their hands and telling them the truth "You fucking dirty old man the only reason even I'm talking to you is for money, dumb motherfucker!" will not get you anywhere. Just tell them "Oh I don't mind that, but I'll get fired SO fast for that! You don't want me to lose my job, do you?" Most people will lay off, but if they come back with "I know the owner, you won't get fired, come on!"or something like that, either stop the dance, get your money and politely excuse yourself. Say you've had a bad day and you're stressed, and can't handle anymore drama, or some variation of that. You're never going to make excellent money off someone who thinks they're "in" with the owner or manager. Or, if they're not too bad, and you can manage, finish the dance and excuse yourself, saying you just saw your ex walk in, or you need to talk to the DJ.
- Introduce yourself by your stage name at all times, and when people ask your real name, give them another fake one but act like it's real "Oh, don't tell anyone!" My fake real name is Holly.
- Even if there's 6 customers in the club, act like you're having a blast onstage. People have misconceptions about what stage is supposed to be like from rap videos (I DON'T furiously shake my ass with a scowl, even if Lil John's director thinks I should), movies, TV, etc. Give them a little bit of what they expect from their stereotypes.
- If you see a hot guy and his ugly friend sitting together at a table, go sit on the ugly guy's lap and act like he's Prince Fucking Charming. Ignore hot boy. Ugly Boy is used to girls fawning over his friend, but if you pay attention to him and act like you could care less about his friend, he'll spend cash. Even if he doesn't, the jealousy from the hot guy will most likely cause him to try and win you over (with cash!) even if he really doesn't like you. Men are competitive creatures.
- Be all over girl customers. Look at them as a way to make cash off stupid guys with lesbian fantasies, not as competition.
- And if all else fails, sit with the most attractive customer in the club and bitch. "What are you doing here, you're way too hot to have to pay to see this!" Gets me $100 in tips and dances everyime.
