Original post and some of the replies:
Miss_Red:
I'd had a few really good nights and I came in tonight ready to make some serious money. I walked in and there were more dancers than customers. It took me about half an hour to do my first stage set, which was followed immediately by several rejections. By about halfway through my shift the club had picked up but I was completely demoralized. The worse I did, the worse I felt, and the worse I felt the worse I did. It was some kind of vicious cycle.
My question is: does anyone have tips on how to stop the death spiral and recover when a night is just sucking completely?
NightGoddess
If it's that bad, I go home, take the night or even the next day or two to myself, and once I'm done being pissed at my job, I start to think about why I like it and what I would like to get from it. The harder you try to be happy when you are feeling miserable at work, the worse it gets. I find that if I'm doing badly at work, it helps to go meditate for about 15 minutes and succumb to the fact that I might not make any money. I realize that it's okay. It happens to everyone. This is a slow month/ day/ week. It's okay to not make hundreds of dollars every night, that is the nature of sales. There will be ups and downs and this too shall pass. Let yourself feel what you are feeling, don't try to change it. The harder you try to change it, the more it clings because your feelings of annoyance and discouragement and anger or whatever else just need to be validated.
I think thoughts that soothe me, letting myself be angry and annoyed and frustrated. I cry a lot, which helps and is a big reason I go home because I don't cry at work.
It helps a lot to realize that it's okay to not have a good night, it's okay. It doesn't make you a shitty stripper. The fact that you spend hours getting ready, and you go in and still dance your ass off even when no one is tipping or buying dances makes you STRONG, and the fact that you even do this job and have the ability to do it makes you STRONG and you are worthy of everything that you want to have, really you are.
I hope you have a great night next time you go in. Treat yourself to something nice.
And, sometimes it just takes that one customer who will make your night. When going home is not an option, I find just giving up trying to make money helps me more than anything. Just go up to someone who vibes well, they might make your night. Trust your gut. I've had quite a few shitty nights that were made better by just saying "fuck it", and like that a customer appears and spends money on me and I'm practically crying tears of happiness, lol.
wednesday86
I try to never go in with a "work hard" mindset anymore. I go in with the goal to have fun. If one day is bad there's not much I can do about it and it's likely that the next day will be better. I just keep telling myself "I have plenty of money. One bad day is no big deal..." If I can keep the laid back, I don't care attitude I usually bank on "bad" days because I'm not giving stressed out vibes like the other girls. I bring a book to read in the DR with me or focus on learning new pole tricks or whatever when it's dead. Tuesday was "awful" for everyone-but me...because I didn't care. Men approached me for dances and champagne rooms. Try to shrug it off and not take it so seriously. Look at your earnings week by week rather than day by day.
Edit to add: If you haven't read it yet, read the Law of Attraction: Money Magnet thread. Learning to apply the law of attraction works wonders. It's all about your mindset.
Miss_Red
You both rock so hard. Thank you for taking the time to offer some encouragement--I definitely needed it . I took the day after I posted this really easy, did lots of things I'd been wanting to do, tried to think positive. I wish I could say that the nights I've worked after this haven't sucked--the holidays are murdering me--but I haven't felt as bad as I did that night and I've been able to stay positive at least. I'm definitely trying to focus less on specific money amounts and more on being sexy/fun/positive.
Thank you.
charlie61
Sometimes it helps a bit to picture yourself on the ride home from work after a bad night. If you leave work early (i.e. give up), then you'll probably be feeling pretty disappointed in yourself on the ride home...and you'll be wondering if the club might have picked up later on in the night, resulting in $$$. Leaving early can also set up a very negative pattern where that becomes what you do by default whenever the night starts off slowly - it becomes very easy to leave early for even the smallest of reasons! If you give up while you're at work but stay at work, then that ride home is going to be pretty damn grim, too. You'll not only be pissed off from having a bad night, but you'll also be going home with very little money.
Obviously, if the night is getting you down to the point where future nights might be affected, then you should definitely leave! There truly are nights when it'd be best to leave. It takes skill to recognize the difference between "Ugh, I'd rather be watching Gilmore Girls right now..." and "Being here is damaging my psyche." But if you can convince yourself to keep trying - whether the night ends up being awesome or terrible - then at least you'll feel proud of yourself during the ride home, knowing that you tried your best.
On these nights, sometimes it can help to picture someone who has mentored you or inspired you - whether that be a fellow dancer, someone from StripperWeb, the spastic chick from Showgirls, or someone in a completely different industry who you knew ten years ago. Have a "What would _____ do?" moment to keep yourself in that professional mindset.
It can also help to channel your negative energy into being goofy or being angry-happy-bitchy (yes, that's a mood). If you feel your mood starting to spiral, and the money stops flowing, then try something different. Don't keep trying the same hustle over and over - try doing something that amuses you. Whether that means wearing a weird outfit, finding a bouncer with a good sense of humor and humping his leg / shooting the shit for a few minutes, putting a big fake flower in your hair (can be used to start conversations), trying a silly sales line, dancing to a song you absolutely love that everyone will probably hate, just do something different. Find an area in the club where no one can see you, and make weird / ugly faces at yourself in the mirror, impersonate a caveman, stick your belly out as far as it can go, etc. I know that sounds totally ridiculous, but sometimes this can snap you out of a mood where you're taking yourself far too seriously. Say something to yourself out loud, like "Fuck everyone!!!" with a giant smile, or "ONTO THE NEXT!" or "Let's do that AGAIN!!" or "Stripping is SO FUCKING GLAMOROUS!!" and then have that be your mantra for the rest of the night after every rejection.
countcrabula:
i definitely concur with NightGoddess. instead of going in thinking "i need to make X dollars to be happy," just go in with the hopes of having fun. it also helps to have an hourly job of some sort that you can definitely rely on so those shitty nights are even less detrimental to you.
Tourdefranzia:
1. Fake an illness and go home. (Sometimes I need to bribe the manager or bouncer to get out of a shift)
2. Contact every regular in my contacts list until someone responds. I work very hard to drag my customers into the club if it is a slow day.
3. Help another dancer who is having a worse night than me. It's amazing how far good will and generosity will go to improving your mood.
4. If all else fails, just ride out the rest of the shift and stop trying to even earn any money. If I'm angry/agitated about something I'll do some high energy stuff (pole work, ab exercises). If I'm low energy, I'll just go through my kindle list and read some smutty romance. Kindle usually has some stories that you'll enjoy for free. I've gotten a lot of mileage out of bad erotica just for the hilarity of reading it out loud to customers.
ETA: You can always try having some drinks to see if that helps improve your mood. Not recommended if you don't know how to stop or don't have much experience with drinking.
Selina M:
Not caring what you make (I know, it's hard) helps a LOT because it reflects in your attitude. I find I get a lot more yes when I don't worry about what a customer will say when I go up to him.
You can try reminding yourself that that ONE guy that likes you might come in any minute now. Maybe you've made $3 in the last 2 hours but for all you know, someone is on his way there that will spend $100 on you if you just stick it out until then.
I agree with Charlie in not making a habit of leaving when you get pissy. A lot of girls at my club leave as soon as they run out of customers; they aren't willing to wait 20 minutes for a new wave of guys to come in. If they'd wait for that next influx, they'd obviously make more money for their input (gas, time driving there and getting ready).
Graci:
I left early one Sunday because I felt like it was a terrible day. I got home to find I had actually made $200 in about 2 1/2 hours, which is pretty good for a Sunday. Plus, I found out later that a guy had tried to book me for a VIP and was really disappointed that I had left.
Sometimes nights feel worse than they are, and I always try to remember the times things picked up at the last minute.
Selina M:
I have to jump back in, to say that I've actually stuck to the hours I "scheduled" myself (aka, wrote in my planner that I was gonna do)... and while the first half of each shift was dead and I seriously contemplated leaving, both shifts I have had one or two guys toward the end make it not a total waste of time. They weren't super lucrative shifts, but making $200 beat the hell out of making nothing, and was worth waiting since I was already there.
Sooo yes, definitely always stay a little bit longer when you're thinking of going home; even just "Fine, I'll stay one more half hour" could be the difference between taking some profit home vs. owing a house fee.
wednesday86:
^True. There have been many nights where I made nothing until the last hour or two of my shift. I didn't start making any money until my last hour of work last night, and I think if I had stayed I would have made more...but by that time I was way too tired and lazy. If I get a lot of rejections I just stop trying for a while, try to relax and then the money starts to come to me. I cared too much last night and I think that's one reason I didn't make much.
littlelizard:
I'm always the first one to opt out and go home when I'm having a shitty shift. But here are some things I try to think of when it's really slow or I'm constantly getting rejected or I'm just not having it.
-You never know who is going to come in and see you. One time I told my manager I had to leave early to go "to my other job." About 30 mins after I left, my regular texted me saying that he came in looking for me wanting to get a VIP room! FML!
-You never know when a bunch of guys are going to come in. One day me and this other dancer were talking shit about how the club is so slow and there is no money... and guess what? The moment we come out there are a bunch of guys already sitting with girls! While we were in the dressing room talking shit, a bunch guys walked in and the girls already on the floor swooped them up. This goes for other sales jobs as well. My boyfriend sells cars and one day it was really slow, so he decided to take a break and go out to lunch with me. Turns out a bunch of people looking to buy cars comes in during his break and he missed out on a $500 commission.
-After being rejected a million times, it's good to take a break and recuperate. Sometimes just really sitting, not that sexy posing sitting we do on the floor, but the hunched over, legs wide open sitting, for whatever time you need...feels so good! After taking a nice long refreshing break, I feel like I have a new attitude and I'm ready to make some money!
Now I just need to remember this everytime I feel like shit at work lol.
wednesday86:
Last night I started going down the death spiral after a couple rejections. I was feeling upset about it but then my husband called and asked how my night was. For some reason I just busted out laughing and said "Well I've been here 2 hours and made $3 so it's been a pretty awesome night." Then I was like "Fuck these guys. I give up. If they want dances they can come to ME." A couple minutes later a guy waved me over and got 10 dances. After that I sat at the bar, had a coffee and the guy sitting next to me started chatting with me and ended up buying 7 dances. Haha. So yeah, just give up and do your own thing. (and I am posting this to remind myself of this as well.)
zorasky:
I find that, every time I go in to work, if I'm having a good time, the customers will pick up on that and I'll be more magnetized to make money. I try to just have fun for the night, and bear in mind that it only takes one person to make me a pretty penny. I count my first stage set, and then I don't count my money again until the end of my shift. This keeps me from being discouraged too easily and worrying too much about how much money I'm making, which can put me in a bad mood pretty quickly.
Optimist:
I keep audio affirmations on my ipod. I go into the dressing room and pop on a Tony Robbins file or some other teacher who will get you amped in 10 minutes or less. He calls it managing your state as in your emotional state. You feel good about yourself, a reassured of the giving power of the customers and you'll begging to connect with the more positive guys in the room.
