Archived Annoying Strip Club Customers

[EtherealMOD]

everyone has a pet peeve. when you hear it, after 473654 times over n over you contemplating walking out and never coming back.

heres some & add more!


'youre too hot to work here'

'do you get really horny when you dance'

'where do you live?'

'where are you from'

'oh youre from hungary are you hungry?'

'you should work in sales'

'what are you gonna do for me?'

'but you can get 30 dollar handjobs down the road why would i pay 90 for just a dance'



yeah i think im burnt out

[EtherealMOD]

"Wow, you sure have a lot of tattoos"

"Why do you have all those tattoos?"

When I was using my real name..."Jessica isn't your real name, what's your real name?"....
"It's fucking Butterfly...happy?!!"

"I bet you make $1000's of dollars a night, huh?"....I fucking wish, I'd would've worked only 3 nights a month and be fine....::)

"So what girl here gives the best dance?"....really?

and I agree, I hate the:
"you're too hot to work here"
"you're better than this"
"you're the hottest girl here"

and I definitely agree with the:
"Do you get horny when you dance?"


Damn, I'm glad I don't hear that crap every day anymore LOL
Although, I hear some annoying shit on cam. :-\

youre very lucky. i probably have 3 more years of this arent you jealous?
oh yeah theres a girl at my work with a gun tattood on her hip [her gstring goes through it] and everytime guys see they pretend pull a gun off their hip and aim it at her and like smile? if that makes sense?
i see it happen to her all the time im just like (

"where do you live" makes my skin crawl every fucking time I hear it. why would you think that's okay to ask a stripper?

"what do you do besides this?" I've NEVER been asked this at ANY. OTHER. JOB. when I worked at starbucks customers never asked me "so what do you do besides y'know...make lattes?" I feel like a guy could ask something along the lines of "what are your hobbies?" or "what do you do for fun?" saying "what do you do besides this?" makes it seem like we just come out and take our clothes off for fun.

"what do I get?" after I ask a guy for a lap dance. wtf do you MEAN what do you GET? you get a lap dance, what do you expect. I STILL haven't come up with a good answer for this one.

OH &


"so how much do you make?"

"how old are you"

some asshole last night asked me if my nipples were hard when I was on stage or if they're always like that. yes, it's fucking freezing in here. I played it off and giggled and tried not to sound annoyed but then when he was like "so how much do you like sex?" I got pissed and stormed off. I was already edgy, but that question just came out of nowhere and seemed a little rude to me.

Are they real?
Can I touch them to see if your telling the truth?
Is that your real hair color?
Can I look down there to see if its the truth?

Now I question myself.. would anyone really miss this guy..

^ yeah it would. its like when i open my mouth and straight away its like where you from where you from
people try tell me its part of them try and make conversation but i think 98% a custy says is either rude or stupid

hahahaha can totally relate

people insulting my intelligence makes my blood boil every time

Anything where the customer is trying to get out of buying a dance. All of the pathetic excuses. Seriously, man, I can take a "no" just fine. What I cannot take is massive amounts of bullshit currently spewing from your mouth.

"What do you do besides THIS?"----They always say "this" like their appalled or something, if your that creeped out about it then don't come in! They say it like we've all got some crazy addiction or something and that we don't really have any lives outside of the strip club. I feel like some kind of dating profile when I'm sitting there listing off all my hobbies! lol.

"Are your boobs fake??"----First of all I'm a firm believer in you just don't ask a lady if something is real or not...you can compliment and if they want you to know then they will tell you. I don't mind telling people asking about boobs but when you just come out with "are you boobs FAKE!!" it sounds kind of asshole to me...there's plenty of nice ways to put it..sheez! I've also noticed the guys that talk like that are always the ones that don't spend money anyway which makes their behavior even more annoying.

"Do you color your hair??"---I color my hair platnium blonde and have natural dark hair so when I'm due for a color and it's only grown out about a few centimeters it can be quite noticeable but guys ONLY ask me if I color my hair when they are standing up looking directly at my roots growing in!!! lol!!! I normally say "No I don't color my hair at all, the dark contrasting roots your staring DIRECTLY at right now are just an illusion!"

"Who gives the best lap dances???"----"I don't know, I don't come in here getting lap dances from all of my co-workers!"

"So why do you work here?"

Or my personal favorite I will be having a conversation with someone about to seal the deal on getting a VIP dance and some drunk ass stumbles up to me slurring "What's that say on your arm???" (my tattoo) and when I ignore them for being rude they just keep asking and act like they are going to kill over dead if they don't know, it's so stupid! Get the hell out of here I'm about to get some dances from someone who is actually in here to spend money on lap dances rather than get liqoured up (and free load might i add). I mean what the hell this isn't a damn episode of "Miami Ink"!!!

Forgive me if I sound bitchy, I'm really not...I've just got pent up frustration from morons who come in and don't spend any money at all other than booze and stare and get a free show from the stage and turn down every dancer that asks for even the cheapest dance but yet thinks they can act like an ass while their there and let alone screw up girls getting dances from other guys who are spending money by interupting them for stupid stuff, insulting the other customer or even talking crap to the dancer and making her all frustrated to deal with other guys! They really should kick morons like this out but unfortunatley at my club they dont

oh oh &

are you russian? you must be russian.

[to call a european russian is about as insulting as calling a japanese chinese or an italian lebanese. no offense to any russians on here]

Or the more presumptuous versions...

"What does your boyfriend think about you dancing?"

"If I was your boyfriend, I wouldn't let you dance."

Try having people go thru the race game...

Shes white.. no shes hispanic.. no no shes...

I don't even know my highest race %.. So why ask.. cause I know you wouldn't even believe me if I told you..

"So, what's with all the tattoos?" or "So why the stars/bow ties/bird?" They are MY tattoos. I like them. Yeah, I just like them because they are CUTE. Nothing deep and meaningful. And you don't need point at them when I'm on the stage or to rub them with your hand. Dumb. Ass.

Ditto on the, "What do you do besides this?"

And, "What does your boyfriend think of you doing this?"

And, "You're way too pretty to work here."

And, "Is that a Nine Inch Nails tattoo? Cool. So do you like Nine Inch Nails?"

Or, "Hey, baby, I got a nine inch nail for ya!"

-Earn this dollar!

-Forget VIP, lets go in the bathroom for a really good time

-Do you have daddy issues

-Can I stick it in a little (during a table dance)

-you only want me for my money

-but so-and-so let me fuck her in VIP

Any variation of the following:
-I don't need to pay for it./I don't pay to play.
-I don't do dances, it's just a tease.
Why the fuck are you here then? No, actually, I probably don't want to hear it!

And I HAAATE the "Go make your money!" line.
That's what I'm trying to do! This isn't my first goddamn rodeo!

Also, comments from guys that are clearly too cheap to buy any dances or even tip, but somehow have loads of cash waiting at their hotel room for me if I leave with them.

Couldn't agree more!!!! Time wasters... I hate them.. oR when you try to sell a dance they say "They are just chillin' --- Really!?! Wow... Go chill somewhere else... you are taking up space and a cheapo drinking beers instead of getting a real drink

I think everyone listed here annoys me. Interesting that so many men ask the same questions.

Ones that I find particularly annoying:

What do you do besides this?
What does your boyfriend think of you dancing?
Where do you live?
How old are you?
Do you party?

And the ULTIMATE winner is.....

Oh - no thanks, I'm being good tonight.
WTF is that shit? If youre being good, then don't come here! That's just moronic!

"So, you must have to be totally coked up to do this"

"What's the point of getting a dance if I can't fuck you?" uhh, what's the point of coming into a strip club if you're looking for a prostitute?

"So do you work 7 nights a week?"

"Those aren't real glasses"

"Why do you wear glasses?" umm, so I can see...

"Oh I don't get dances. Where are you from?" if you're not spending, I'm not interested.

"I'd rather just talk and get to know you"

"You're gonna have to really work for it if you want me to get a dance" kthnxbye!

"What time do you finish?" NEVAAA! I'm a 24/7 stripper ^_^

"What's the point of getting a dance if I can't fuck you?" uhh, what's the point of coming into a strip club if you're looking for a prostitute?

quote]

WOW :censored:

would you talk to me if i didnt have money?


[would you talk to me if i didnt have tits]

im not racist either,,
but damn your right,,
i refuse to dance for them.
and also,,when i get pissy with them,,they ALL reply with....
"as you wish." UGH!

when guys ask "how old do you think I am?" that's the worst question you could ask because if they get insulted they won't want a dance from you. I hate guessing ages and nationality

[EtherealMOD]

"Are your boobs fake??"----First of all I'm a firm believer in you just don't ask a lady if something is real or not...you can compliment and if they want you to know then they will tell you. I don't mind telling people asking about boobs but when you just come out with "are you boobs FAKE!!" it sounds kind of asshole to me...there's plenty of nice ways to put it..sheez! I've also noticed the guys that talk like that are always the ones that don't spend money anyway which makes their behavior even more annoying."

I hear this one ALL the time, about my boobs and other girls' breasts. I usually answer with "Can you SEE them?" And when they say "Yeah" I answer with "Then they're real." Almost always shuts these guys down.


"Do you color your hair??"---I color my hair platnium blonde and have natural dark hair so when I'm due for a color and it's only grown out about a few centimeters it can be quite noticeable but guys ONLY ask me if I color my hair when they are standing up looking directly at my roots growing in!!! lol!!! I normally say "No I don't color my hair at all, the dark contrasting roots your staring DIRECTLY at right now are just an illusion!"

I wear hair pieces at work and frequently get asked if it's my hair. My answer always is: "Yes it is, I have a receipt."

i so get you,,
once there was a group of indians who were flashing their cash around and calling me over. and they kept asking if they could pay $20 for 5 fucking dances,,wtf is that? cheap asses,,men should really know how business works now a days.

iv heard it soooo many times it makes me want to cry,,lol.

Aghgh I hate the "What does your boyfriend think of this?!" theres no right way to answer that..either he'll be turned off if you say you actually DO have a boyfriend, or, they'll ask you out if you're single. I also hate the "so what time do you finish work" ..never moron, because im NEVER going out with you.

The "how old are you anyway?! what are you..18?! if that?" dude. I'm aware I look young. But since when is that a bad thing? I get this so many times a night I'm just going to switch to saying "i'm 76, look good for my age, dont i?" lol.

The "whats your nationality" ..I've gotten everything from russian to columbian, brazilian, I got dominican once. I'm pretty damn pale..it's not really that hard. Why does it matter so much to them what nationality we are?

Ugh. So frustrated lol.

I KNOW RIGHT???? :banghead:

No, I'm not Slavic. I'm Puerto Rican, and I speak standard Spanish...and Japanese, and Portuguese, and some Italian.

I get the Russian question EVERY SINGLE DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!


Most Latino customers are the worst! They really think strippers are prostitutes, and are always asking me to go home with them for X amount of money. I tell them (usually in Spanish): "I am a stripTEASER, not a stripPleaser, now, let me get ready to go on stage".

what's the point of paying a prostitute when masturbation is free? just admit to yourself that you're paying for company from another human being because no one wants to be around you for free.



i always tell them that i suck at guessing ages and that, besides, between the time a man is a full-grown adult til around 50, men barely change. they can get fat or damage their skin in the sun, but otherwise the little changes of age can't be seen in stripclub lights. they usually agree.



i've gotten that a lot. some guys are racist. that's why they ask. i'm super white. like, there are wikipedia listings for confederate ancestors of mine white. i'm a little bit native american, sure. but i can't even get a dark tan. so it boggles my mind when guys pull the racist shit on me just because i have dark eyes. and it pisses me off because then i feel like a racist too for trying to justify my whiteness. plus, we've all known that pale girl who loves to brag about being latina, so it's not like you can always tell from looking at somebody anyways.

they either want an obviously ethnic woman, rather than an ambiguous looking girl like me. or they want a blue eyed blonde...which i find extremely funny because they always seem to go for the girls who only date black men and/or have biracial children.

since switching to a club with dim lights instead of blacklight, i haven't been asked about my race once.

"So whats your REAL name?"... well seeing as I'm here DANCING, my DANCER name will suffice.

"I feel better when I know your real name. I want to get to know the REAL you, not the you here"... This isn't eHarmony. You came to a strip club, you better expect to meet some strippers.

"You're only 19, what do you know?"... Literally, a man said this right before he started crying on my shoulder due to his mid life crisis... I know enough at 19 that when I'm 42 like he is, I won't be drunk in a strip club embarrassing myself.

"What are you doing after this?"... going home and going to bed. -_-

"Do you have a boyfriend"... yes, and even if I didn't, you wouldn't have a chance with me.

"What does your boyfriend think about you doing this?"... Well he doesn't pay my bills so I don't really think he cares that I go to work. I just dance. People at night clubs do the same thing and they do it for free.

"Even though you have a boyfriend, that doesn't mean you can't have friends."... That's true. But if you think I want you as a friend, you're sadly mistaken.

"I'm not like the rest of the guys here, you can give me your number."... The guy that says that is usually the creeper in the lap dance room trying to sneak his tongue onto your boob. Yeah, you're a real gentleman alright.

"You're too good for this."... No idiot, I'm too good to be working some "normal" job 40 hours a week making a quarter of what I'm making here.

"So why do you work here?"... And then I always ask them, well why do you go to work?

"So when do you plan on getting out of this business?"... when I no longer make any money here? That's such an odd question to ask anybody because 1. who's business is it and 2. no other occupation is expected to have a retirement date picked out

"Everybody has a price.."... That may be true, but I know that my self respect is worth a hell of a lot of money to me and you couldn't afford it.

I can't stand the Indian or Mexican customers we get in, except for this one Mexican who introduced himself to me at the bar as "Hector the Wetback." Yes he did, really, I have witnesses.

Usually when they start trying to speak to me in Spanish - which I don't speak - I will tell them in Russian that I don't speak Spanish. I immediately put up a language barrier so they'll leave me alone, I don't even go sit with them. I've found that, for me at least, they aren't worth the hassle.

What about last time when a table with 4/5 Mexican guys were asking "How much is a girl to go?' I was like huh??? They repeated the question saying money wasn't a problem, and I politely said thanks and declined the "indecent" proposal. Then, I tried to approach one of them for a LD, and he was like avoiding the question, so I threw back at him his friend's comment about "money is not a problem", and a LD is way cheaper than a girl "to-go"... Summary" they keep trying to low ball me and I pretty much told all of them off "There is no 1/2 price. Do I look like I am half price to you? NO... so it's full price for a LD. If don't have the money, do not waste my time. Have a good nite:)" It FEELS SO EMPOWERING to say that.

I also hate when customers want to waste ur time "ur so beautiful", and try to get a free feel and/or make me sit on their laps....it happened a lot last nite. "NO, if you want me to sit on ur lap ---the LD room is the place and it's $20" --- did they go for it? NO... I watched these "touching feeling" guys, and they didn't even tip the girls on stage.

"How old are you?" --- Me: how much money do you make? ---lol they were like huh? See, some questions are very rude to be asked and they don't matter in the end. The, I say " if I tell you my age, you will have to tip me a dollar for each year of my life... Ok, I am 90 years old, and you owe me $90... Time waster left me alone after that... which was exactly what I expected him to do.

Do you do topless LDs? Dude -- seriously??? You've been going to SCs for a while, and this is an alcohol club... do i need to explain the basics??? C'mon

^^ For the "take out" guys my favorite (and only used with the most annoying custies) is "This isn't a chinese restaurant, we DONT do take out here"

I like the response to the 'how old are you' thing..lol I'll try that tomorrow. 'tip me a dollar for every year' lol I like that one a lot.

If they ask for your real name just say you can't tell them unless they go to the highest payout area for you. I say its cause you don't want the other people listening in to know and if they don't bite just tell them when your ready to know come and get me.

I actually have a fake "real" name.

^^^ lol most of us do.

Hahahahahahahahaahahaha, I get the exact opposite; I speak Spanish and I'm Puerto Rican, and I get asked all the time if I'm Russian.

ROFL! My father is Cherokee, my mother is from Siberia and Jewish. I get asked ALL the time if I'm Japanese. No one EVER guesses my nationality. I find it HYSTERICAL!

Me too.

Another annoying customer:

One time, there was a guy ( he was one of those generic Mexican guys, who are totally chauvinist) who asked me if I had a boyfriend. I told him yes, and that he didn't mind dancing. The, he asked me why my boyfriend wasn't paying for my stuff?!

Really?! Did he really expected my BF to pay for my stuff?! In what year does he thinks I lve in?!

^It's usually this or "Where's your man at? Why isn't he here looking after you?"

Really, does it look like I need a babysitter?

I am angry when about go make your money shit... yes i was going to make money but your stupid ass blocked me as well. If u arent gonna pay dont take my time...Dont tell me come back later over over again or do not promise for dances if u arent gonna do... u are fuckin asshole just wanna talk for free.

I am very angry lately to customers... i have no tolerance anymore.

lol :p

Agreed, Agreed and Agreed!

Here's a couple of my standard responses:

Thats not your real name! - No, my real name's Cherry Daquiri...
So how old are you? - How old do you think I am?
What do you do when this place closes? - I turn into a pumpkin - better take advantage of me now!
Do you have a boyfriend? - Hundreds of 'em!

My latest (least) favorites...

Mmm...I love a girl with a big booty! (ExCUSE me? I'm 120lbs...this ain't big!!! Fuck you, you flabby git!) I get SO many variations of this...By no means am I stick thin, but I'd rather not deal with fat comments every night (especially disguised as a complement!) I love a real girl, I love a girl with an ass, DAAAMN thats a badunkadunkdunk (no word of a lie...who SAYS that?)
So how much for outside? - why is this always followed by - But its only a block away!! Oh! Oh well! In that case! I was concerned about a long walk before I fuck your limp dick for a hundred bucks! But if its ONLY a block away, lets get going! (moron)

and my latest and greatest - about my tattoos...

Why would you do that to yourself? You're just going to regret that in ten years...

I DO THIS to myself because it is my passion, my day job, my career. And some of these are already ten years old, and guess what? I don't regret them. YOU, on the other hand, will regret being an arrogant, judgemental prick.

I have to ask.. what the hell does it mean to have gypsy eyes... I get the tell me my future or some crap like that and when I ask they say I have gypsy eyes... I might be missing a culture thing but gypsy eyes was not a complement back near the witch trials.. Its starting to get on my nerves...

Lol..I think its a compliment - that you are seductive and mysterious and sexy....think Romanian gypsy caravan, Esmerelda-stylee...but maybe I'm missing something too!

I would love it to be a compliment but asking for their future to be told in a stripclub... its either going to be a line to get into a vip or its about your first, second, and third wife are about to sit down for tea about your activities. I might see it as cute the first million times..