View Full Version : What does your burnout look like?
Selina M
03-28-2015, 11:40 PM
I just got off a much needed break, and noticed that all my burnout cycles have the same progression. I'm curious how burnout goes for everyone else.
(And if you don't ever get burnout, what your routine to prevent it is
)*ahem* In timeline format:
- 2 weeks before: Have multiple bad $$$ shifts in a row. Contemplate switching clubs. Decide to ride it out. Bad $$ shifts are almost always my "trigger".
- 1 week before: Literally every customer in the building makes me physically nauseous. Drastically lower my goals to newbie levels and hope for more stage time so I can make $$ without actually approaching any of the fuckwads on the floor. Even if the club has picked back up, spend LOTS of time in the dressing room. Probably succumb to dressing room bitchfests with other dancers. Start going in every single day in attempt to make up lost $$ (0/10, do not recommend).
- That day: Moment of "I can't fucking do this anymore"; walk off the floor without paying house fee (usually in an effort to prevent myself from wanting to go back to that club out of familiarity). "Wooo the world is my oyster, cya later -insert club name-", jam out on drive home. Super happy, fun, relieved all night.
- Days 1-3: Despise men of any sort. Contemplate what straight jobs I should apply for. Sleep, take my sweet ass time doing anything... But mostly enjoy not feeling guilty for not being at work, cause hey! I don't have a place of work anymore!
- Day 4: Panic. "What if I don't get a straight job? What if I need to go dance again and nobody will hire me and I walked out of my home club?"
- Days 5-6: Actually apply for straight jobs. Be optimistic. "This salary works out to... $1700/month? Sure I can be comfortable on that, done it before."
- Day 7: Get offered straight job. Run numbers. Realize that no, I cannot live on $1700/month and not be a grouchy bitch.. especially when that is 160 hours of work. Open stripper earnings log; remember that a bad, pulling-teeth sort of dancing shift is 3x the hourly the straight job pays... and no schedule... and no boss... and *remembers all positives*
- Day 8: Get bored of being in the house all day. Do hair and makeup, go outside, practice stripper-mode on unsuspecting civilian men; remember how fun (and profitable) they can be to mess with.
- Days 9-10: Read Hustle Hut, sales books, buy new outfits, research what clubs to audition at. Stripper is back!
skripper
03-29-2015, 07:40 AM
Mine goes similar to yours...always triggered by poor earnings..exasperated by shitty customers..I end up announcing I'm done and go home just to be broke in a few days and needing to go back. Buying outfits always gets me back in the mood to work, fighting with my husband usually makes me want to work too.
NightGoddess
03-29-2015, 11:14 AM
Mine's the same, but I take two weeks to myself and never consider getting a vanilla job, I know I'd be much more miserable. I actually consider camming more and more these days, I love sex work. I just pamper the shit out of myself and read about LOA and get myself back into a positive mental attitude until I know I'm gonna be top ho again.
kirakonstantin
03-29-2015, 05:14 PM
I'm actually in a burnout cycle myself. It's either triggered by club drama or getting into a pain cycle. I'll try to work through the pain and ignore it, which makes it worse and harder to ignore, until I'm either insanely grouchy due to sleep deprivation or just can't ignore it anymore. This one is due to both.
My remedy is either to figure out how to work around the club drama and have some extended playtime with my ferrets or to actually take my pain medication, at it's correct dose, spend a day or two resting and have some heavy ferret time.
For some reason, watching ferrets play, having them crawling onto my shoulders and hopping around just make me happy. Being able to afford to take care of them (and the cats. Can't forget the cats!) and having the time to play with them is one of the reasons why I dance.
skripper
03-29-2015, 07:49 PM
I'm actually in a burnout cycle myself. It's either triggered by club drama or getting into a pain cycle. I'll try to work through the pain and ignore it, which makes it worse and harder to ignore, until I'm either insanely grouchy due to sleep deprivation or just can't ignore it anymore. This one is due to both.
My remedy is either to figure out how to work around the club drama and have some extended playtime with my ferrets or to actually take my pain medication, at it's correct dose, spend a day or two resting and have some heavy ferret time.
For some reason, watching ferrets play, having them crawling onto my shoulders and hopping around just make me happy. Being able to afford to take care of them (and the cats. Can't forget the cats!) and having the time to play with them is one of the reasons why I dance.
Lol I dance to take care of my ferrets too.
kirakonstantin
03-29-2015, 08:08 PM
Lol I dance to take care of my ferrets too.
Yay! Another ferrent! I do as much rescue as I can and most of my animals are special needs. One ferret is deaf, so he needs more training and involved play. Two were abused and are fear biters, so they need a lot of handling and positive reinforcement. Another ferret has adrenal disease. The medication was $300, plus a vet visit every month. We're hoping he can have surgery this summer, which isn't cheap.
I have a 15 year old cat with severe arthritis due to abuse suffered as a kitten. My 9 month old kitten has digestive issues and needs special food. My 8 year old cat was abused, neglected and eventually abandoned, so she has separation issues and needs a lot of attention.
I have one ferret that doesn't have major health or behavioral issues. He was just too stinking cute and we fell in love with eachother in 2 seconds.
So, being able to work part time and make serious money is mandatory for me. An extended period of burnout could mean going without a doctor visit to monitor some health concerns that I have. It could mean blowing off my yearly cancer checkup. It could mean eating Banquet tv dinners, as opposed to healthy, natural food. I have to be extremely careful to take time away if I'm starting to wear out. My fur kids will never go without. Ever. But, I have to make sure there's something left over for me too.
skripper
03-29-2015, 08:13 PM
Ferrent? Lol! That shit is funny...girl I was being sarcastic about the ferrets..but it's super cute that you're a ferrent. They should be your avatar
xStacey
03-29-2015, 11:07 PM
Every word that comes out of a customer's mouth irritates me.
kirakonstantin
03-30-2015, 02:02 AM
Ferrent? Lol! That shit is funny...girl I was being sarcastic about the ferrets..but it's super cute that you're a ferrent. They should be your avatar
So, making fun of a burned out stripper serves what purpose for you? We're all here for support, not to be ridiculed.
kaninchen
03-30-2015, 11:50 AM
Yay! Another ferrent! I do as much rescue as I can and most of my animals are special needs. One ferret is deaf, so he needs more training and involved play. Two were abused and are fear biters, so they need a lot of handling and positive reinforcement. Another ferret has adrenal disease. The medication was $300, plus a vet visit every month. We're hoping he can have surgery this summer, which isn't cheap.
I have a 15 year old cat with severe arthritis due to abuse suffered as a kitten. My 9 month old kitten has digestive issues and needs special food. My 8 year old cat was abused, neglected and eventually abandoned, so she has separation issues and needs a lot of attention.
I have one ferret that doesn't have major health or behavioral issues. He was just too stinking cute and we fell in love with eachother in 2 seconds.
So, being able to work part time and make serious money is mandatory for me. An extended period of burnout could mean going without a doctor visit to monitor some health concerns that I have. It could mean blowing off my yearly cancer checkup. It could mean eating Banquet tv dinners, as opposed to healthy, natural food. I have to be extremely careful to take time away if I'm starting to wear out. My fur kids will never go without. Ever. But, I have to make sure there's something left over for me too.
I have so much respect for people who make their pets a top priority. I wish every pet owner were as responsible as you. You're awesome! :highfive:
kaninchen
03-30-2015, 12:00 PM
My burnout is triggered by being top earner and then having a bad night. It's a performance anxiety thing, I guess. I start worrying that I've reached the "end of my career" (whatever that means) and that I'll never sell another VIP and that I'll have to start relying on my boyfriend for money f o r e v e r and that I'll spend all my time reliving the glory days like some Grey Gardens-style weirdo.
Then I put tons of pressure on myself to be the best at everything, and I'll freak out over little things, like only selling one dance instead of 5. By then I'm fully burnt out and I'm so stressed that I'm earning a fraction of what I normally do, even if the club is packed with prime customers.
It sucks how burnout can be 95% psychological. I'd be very interested to learn how pro athletes deal with this type of stress.
Tourdefranzia
03-30-2015, 01:36 PM
-My burnout cycle runs in 6-9 month time periods. I feel happy/excited when I start at a new club. Because I'm happy, the $$ flows pretty freely.
-Then I start recognizing the dancers whom I don't like working with due to their negative vibes/ drinking/ drama starting bullshit.
-I start to avoid the neg-dancers and just do my thing. Income levels out to an acceptable level, but not as good as when the cycle began.
-I begin cutting my hours around the 5-6 month mark. I show up late, ask to go home early and skip shifts.
-I begin taking the first couple of weeks of the month off because I just can't be bothered.
-Bills are due, so I drag my ass into the club with the rest of dancers trying to make rent.
-Then I just quit and sit around at home for a while trying to figure out what to do for income.
-Customers start sending messages, wondering what happened to me. I make a schedule of 4 days, show up for 1.
-Eventually I just stop going in. Take several months off, live off my credit cards, sell my belongings on eBay, do anything but dance.
My longest break from the industry was 3 years. I eventually get over my burnout and go back. Sometimes it takes longer than others. Generally, working a vanilla job for several months is enough to get me back on the pole.
SnuffleUffleGrass
03-30-2015, 01:37 PM
Just feeling over it and only showing up to work to scowl and be angry with people. Yep aka the parts of dancing I don't miss
kirakonstantin
03-30-2015, 03:50 PM
I have so much respect for people who make their pets a top priority. I wish every pet owner were as responsible as you. You're awesome! :highfive:
Despite desperately wanting them, for some unknown reason, I can't have children. So, I rescue animals instead. They're the only family I'm ever going to have.
Selina M
03-30-2015, 11:54 PM
Does anyone else play weird little games when they come back? Like, my brain is doing stuff like this: "Ok I'll just go in and make $100", leave with an easy goal met, so then I'm ready to go back the next day and do "Ok I'll just go in and make $130". I'll leave after 2 hours at the club at this rate, and it continues on in $20-$30 increments until I'm back up to optimal levels.
Probably a subconscious confidence thing, especially since I always take breaks because I was making shit money. I think it's like I don't want to go in expecting a good night and then be upset all over again if it's not.
carmen_b
03-31-2015, 06:31 PM
When I was done dancing, I had finally just HAD it. I mostly hated the hours ( I never found a successful day shift for me ). There just wasn't an option to go back. I knew I needed to do something else. I hoped a plane to a tropical destination and never went back. Dancing earnings helped fund my start here plus a ton of other goals . It was 100% worth it .
EDIT : I thought this was about being done so edit to add that my burn out was like everyone said. I'd disappear for a few weeks , want money, come back , repeat! I finally left for real after " quitting " many times.
culitos
03-31-2015, 07:56 PM
Excusing myself from coming in for days or weeks, with some self-loathing in between. Eventually I get tired of living like a broke ass bitch, and push myself back into work.
cleopatra216
04-01-2015, 05:18 AM
Knowing you hate the job and it's not working out but yet you can't seem to move on.
BarbieNYC
04-01-2015, 07:26 AM
Oh gosh living in an area with crazy scheduling requirements makes me burn out super easily. And it's hard to not show up for a couple of days and expect not to be fined for missing work.
I know I'm burned out when I start quitting clubs for little bullshit. Like the last club. I quit because of a small fine they tried to charge me for missing out the day before with a fever. After leaving in the negative the next shift because I had to pay that fine, I'd just had enough and never went back. So far I've burned bridges at like 3 clubs but I feel so much better and happier until...
trying to buy organic food on my bfs income. You feel crappy when you eat crappy food. There was a time when we were so poor because I wasn't working that we were surviving on eggs, bread, and peanut butter and jelly every day.
watching my school savings go down the toilet to pay rent
not having any extra money to do anything fun
so then I go back to work. This time I joined a promotor for urban clubs which is something I thought I'd never do because of their absurd house fees, but I understand now why girls in ny do it. The house fees are high, but promotor nights are generally good and they offer fantastic flexibility. If I wanna work one night a week I can. If I wanna work all 5 promotor nights I can. Its not a big deal. Sad that something as standard in other clubs as scheduling flexibility you have to pay a premium for if you want to work in NY. This week im only working Friday and Saturday. I don't think I've ever been able to work just a Friday and Saturday without having to work at least one slow day in the whole time I've been dancing in ny. Its amazing really.
xxxGothBarbie
04-01-2015, 09:35 PM
My burnout right now looks like this:
Wake up, have instant anxiety about being broke & thinking well i'll just work tonight & all will be ok then....
I do work & hustle my ass off ,make crap $$, come back to hotel, want to kill myself or just sleep all day everyday & avoid everyone.
I'm quitting my club after this week's over. I'm beyond burned out right now plus I've got insane pmdd right now so I wanna snap & be a bitch to everyone. blah. :/
xxxGothBarbie
04-01-2015, 09:35 PM
My burnout right now looks like this:
Wake up, have instant anxiety about being broke & thinking well i'll just work tonight & all will be ok then....
I do work & hustle my ass off ,make crap $$, come back to hotel, want to kill myself or just sleep all day everyday & avoid everyone.
I'm quitting my club after this week's over. I'm beyond burned out right now plus I've got insane pmdd right now so I wanna snap & be a bitch to everyone. blah. :/
ScarletKitten
04-01-2015, 09:41 PM
When burn-out gets REALLY bad, I start imagining myself to be homeless. lol... NOT good!
I start thinking "Would living on the streets really be that bad? Eating out of trash cans and begging for money on the streets? Hmmmm......" Eventually I come to my senses and realize thinking that way is completely INSANE, and that hustling for money to maintain a roof over your head and some good, clean food is a MUCH better alternative. Oh, and showers. Showers are important.
ScarletKitten
04-01-2015, 09:50 PM
Does anyone else play weird little games when they come back? Like, my brain is doing stuff like this: "Ok I'll just go in and make $100", leave with an easy goal met, so then I'm ready to go back the next day and do "Ok I'll just go in and make $130". I'll leave after 2 hours at the club at this rate, and it continues on in $20-$30 increments until I'm back up to optimal levels. Probably a subconscious confidence thing, especially since I always take breaks because I was making shit money. I think it's like I don't want to go in expecting a good night and then be upset all over again if it's not. That's actually a really good way to get yourself back in the game. Set low goals for yourself and go easy after taking time off. Easily attainable goals don't create as much stress. High stress trying to make $400+ a night EVERY night is what causes burnout. Just too much stress. And, like you said, when you don't make that goal, it is crushing and causes self-doubt, self-hatred, etc etc. So yeah, low money goals can be a good thing! xoxo
Selina M
04-01-2015, 11:30 PM
^ I agree, I just wish I lived somewhere that $400 was a lower relative goal... that'd be like pushing to make $800 in a club with $20 floor dances.
ScarletKitten
04-02-2015, 10:03 AM
^^After burning out at my club and witnessing my club's business earnings drop as the months went by, $400 is considered a high goal for me. And I danced at a $20 lapdance club.
If I were ever to return to dancing anytime soon, I would set a low $150 for myself. Anything made after that would be a bonus. I realize that this is no longer 1996 and this business is just not the same anymore. It's better for me to have low expectations and be pleasantly surprised to make $300-$400, instead of expecting to make that much every night. Hell, I'd be happy as shit to just make $150 and not have guys trying to finger-rape me or lick my nipples, etc. Come to think of it, it's putting up with that disgusting behavior from men that made me crash and burn really quick.
lurkingtitties
04-02-2015, 10:30 AM
trying to buy organic food on my bfs income. You feel crappy when you eat crappy food. There was a time when we were so poor because I wasn't working that we were surviving on eggs, bread, and peanut butter and jelly every day.
Oh my god, this! So much this! Being able to buy high quality food is literally one of the major things that made me fall in love with dancing. I went through a bad period of burnout this winter and not being able to buy things like salmon and fancy organic coffee was such a bummer.
GothBarbie I also wake up and have the insta-anxiety when I'm suffering from burnout. It really is the worst. For a while I was working dayshifts to cope, because waiting around all day for nightshift to start the anxiety would just build up until I talked myself out of working that night. Rushing all afternoon to be groomed and on time for the early shift was much easier mentally, it took my mind off of how stressed the club was making me.
carmen_b
04-02-2015, 02:29 PM
^ It IS !
Low goals are a great idea ( once in a while to get back in the groove ). Or for me ( since I hate being up late ) , a " treat night " at the club with starting early / low goal and giving myself permission to leave at 11 or Midnight and get to bed early.
Selina M
04-02-2015, 04:37 PM
^^After burning out at my club and witnessing my club's business earnings drop as the months went by, $400 is considered a high goal for me. And I danced at a $20 lapdance club.
Yeah I guess it's dependent on the club. $400 is reasonably attainable at my club on the shift I work... it's not really a pressure as far as whether or not I will make the money, it's more of a pressure as to how long I will be there for depending upon how busy it is/how many other girls are on; nobody likes staying at the club for a long time.
I think it's also a matter of keeping your head in check realistically with the day/shift you are on... On a Sunday when there's literally 3 girls, I can generally make $300 in a few hours with little stress since it's not a shark pit and I usually have a line of guys waiting for me. But vice versa, on a Friday it may very well take 6-7 hours to make $300+ because we have so many new girls now and it's ridiculously hard to find a free lap sometimes. I have to remember that, and not get frustrated when it takes longer to make the same. There's a line between making excuses, and legitimately having it not be you that's the issue, and you have to know when to not be hard on yourself.
misssincere
04-03-2015, 01:53 AM
im recovering from a burnout. had bronchitis most of january & february i was just burnt out. march i worked my ass off. so much that im approaching a burn out im trying to avoid. how can i control it? if i can i mean. ive had several burnouts since november. i was a frequent visitor to this site & got so annoyed with stripping i stopped logging on lol. any tips on how to avoid the burn outs?theyre triggered by bad recurring money nights.. thats it thats all lol.
kirakonstantin
04-03-2015, 02:00 AM
^ I used to burn out a lot when I first started dancing because the money was so feast or famine. I started keeping a log of how much money and how many girls were on when I worked and looked for patterns. I could tailor my schedule so I'd be more likely to hit on good days. It also kind of made it more interesting to try a new day or shift because research. I could hit a goldmine or, if not, I knew what days I'd most likely bank, so it didn't seem so bad.
misssincere
04-03-2015, 02:10 AM
the log idea sounds awesome. i work in vegas and at the clubs i work at its so hard to get a good idea on how many girls are there so you never know what youre competing with. patterns seems like the key as well. i dont need to work 7 days a week. so if i could get a log and pattern on when i would have the best odds i think i could avoid burnouts so much more. Thanks Kira ! im omw to work in an hour and this gave me a new insight. i appreciate it.
kirakonstantin
04-03-2015, 02:33 AM
It really does help. I used to log everything from customer demographics, outfit success rates, average dances per customer and had "new music Tuesday" where I'd change up my music and see if it changed my success. It definitely helped me work smarter.
Flickdreams
04-03-2015, 08:10 AM
Subscribing
Novabynight
04-25-2016, 09:09 PM
I'm starting to feel burnt out from dancing right now. I get paranoid at school and even at the grocery store that someone will recognize me and know that I am a dancer and instantly make a judgement. I don't want to care, I wish I could just not care what other people thought of me because I know that I am not doing anything wrong but the stigma is super hard to deal with. I went back to school this semester and had to work every weekend in order to pay my rent, bills, and tuition payments. It has been incredibly difficult for me, especially because the weekend drinking crowd seems to be filled with more dill holes than weekdays and I hated the stress of knowing that I had to come to work in order to pay all my bills and tuition. But I feel like I don't have enough time as it is with full-time pre med courses and the thought of getting a normal low paying job and working tons of hours seems like a terrible idea too. I made enough last weekend to pay my rent and such so I am planning on taking this weekend off for mental health reasons and to focus on school before finals. When school ends this semester I plan on getting a job at juice shop or health food store or something like that and only dancing to supplement for the summer because otherwise i am going to burn out hard.
trying to buy organic food on my bfs income. You feel crappy when you eat crappy food.
Ugh I spend too much money on healthy food but I know it helps me feel my best. Eating healthy is a top priority for me but geez does it add up. this would be another reason why i would love working at a healthy cafe or something they usually give you free meals.
^^After burning out at my club and witnessing my club's business earnings drop as the months went by, $400 is considered a high goal for me. And I danced at a $20 lapdance club.
If I were ever to return to dancing anytime soon, I would set a low $150 for myself. Anything made after that would be a bonus. I realize that this is no longer 1996 and this business is just not the same anymore. It's better for me to have low expectations and be pleasantly surprised to make $300-$400, instead of expecting to make that much every night. Hell, I'd be happy as shit to just make $150 and not have guys trying to finger-rape me or lick my nipples, etc. Come to think of it, it's putting up with that disgusting behavior from men that made me crash and burn really quick.
This. I would rather make 150 bucks and keep my dignity and sanity then put up with men who are trying to break the rules and acting so condescending. Last night was amateur night and i guarantee i will never work another amateur night because its not worth the money to put up with the kind of crowd that comes in that night. I felt so sad when i woke up today and it was a feeling that was really hard to shake. I don't ever want to feel like that again...
whirlerz
04-26-2016, 09:26 AM
This's a great thread!
CanadaGirlq
04-26-2016, 11:18 PM
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